In 2009, I gave birth to my first daughter, Caylee Anne at 10:45 pm. A short 14 months later at 4:34 pm, our second daughter, Lily Marie was born. In 8 short months, a new duckling will join our family and as cool, calm and collective as I try to act, I am terrified. 6 months ago, My Husband and I suffered a miscarriage at 4 weeks along. It was one of the most heartbreaking things, that we have gone through.
I have been getting my Betas checked and they went from being 89 to 280 and tomorrow, I will get tested again.
I have heard many people say, "Two is hard, Three.....now that's a breeze!"
Really?
Now am I being lied to?
I find it hard to wrangle the two I have, and now to add another one. Woofta.
Ross (My Husband) and I, knew we wanted more kids, it was just a matter of when. We just did not expect it to happen so soon after our previous loss. I look at every child as a blessing, and I can not wait to hold and kiss and sing this baby to sleep, like I do with my girls. I never wanted to be a Mother. (Bible!) I thought that kids were loud, annoying and just plain dirty. I never had that maternal bond when I would look or hold a baby, that is until I got pregnant. The second Caylee was born, my entire outlook changed. I suddenly didn't mind the throw up running down my cheek or the poop that got on my hand. I loved the late night feedings and looked forward to every doctor appointment and library visit, etc.
That didn't change with Lily. I loved it all, I still love it all.
I can not wait for #3's arrival into this world. I can't wait to share my entire pregnancy journey with all of my readers and get advice and input and whatever else you all have to offer me!
Until next time,
HC
It is amazing how a little person can change your heart in an instance.
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